


Window Sill

by DegrassiFanatic



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-25 14:08:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30090288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DegrassiFanatic/pseuds/DegrassiFanatic
Summary: “Do you miss him?’ Kakashi asks quietly.“If I’m being honest, I’m pretty pissed at him,” Naruto explains, clenching both his jaw and his fists, “He just left. He didn’t bother explaining why, and eight year old me just had to deal with it, deal with losing one of the only people in the world who cared about him.”Blinking back tears, Kakashi cannot bear looking at Naruto right now, so he averts his gaze to the ground.“I’m sure he had a good reason.” he lies.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 7
Kudos: 115





	Window Sill

**Author's Note:**

> i took liberties with canon because i fuckin can, come at me. also this is set like before kakashi is the rokudaime and after the fourth shinobi war

As Kakashi wanders through the streets of Konoha, absentmindedly flipping through the pages of  _ Icha Icha Tactics _ , he hears children’s laughter ringing through the alleyways as a familiar brown and blue blur races right past him, towards the direction of the hospital. 

Shaking his head, Kakashi laughs softly at their antics; Konohamaru really is just another Naruto.

And just like Naruto, he’s about to be beaten half an inch from death.

As he predicted, in the distance, Kakashi can hear Sakura-chan shout, followed by the loud crack of a chakra enhanced fist and the sounds of Konohamaru and his little gang of delinquents wailing in pain.

He’s about to sprint off towards the hospital to save the children from Sakura’s rage when he notices Ebisu’s already halfway there, shouting something like  _ “Just because you can fix bones, Sakura-san, doesn’t mean you should break them.” _

A wave of nostalgia washes over him. It only feels like yesterday when Kakashi had to be the one to stop Sakura from giving Naruto permanent brain damage from a grade 3 level concussion.

Speaking of the little punk, Kakashi senses his familiar chakra pattern not too far away. 

Shutting his book, he turns around only to bump into the younger man, who seems to have been standing only a hair-breadth away from him. Naruto looks uncharacteristically nervous as he darts his eyes everywhere and anywhere that isn’t Kakashi’s own. 

“Naruto.” he greets, as he takes a step back to put some space in between them.

“You were in ANBU, right, Kakashi-sensei?” Naruto asks out of the blue, wringing his hands out in front of him. 

Dread begins to build up in the pit of his stomach. 

There’s only one reason why Naruto would be so anxious asking about Kakashi’s time in the ANBU forces.

In his whole life, Kakashi had never expected for Naruto to figure him out. He had always operated under the assumption that Naruto was simply young enough for those memories to have disappeared as he grew older, or that his ANBU commissioned mask was enough to hide his identity, or that maybe Naruto would simply learn to let the matter go. 

It goes without saying that he’s a fool for believing in that last one.

“Yes.” Kakashi answers back, a touch wary.

“Do you know who Hound is?”

The question confuses him to no end. 

Why on Earth would Naruto ask Kakashi who Hound is? Was it some weird tactic to get him to tell the truth? Was it a last chance to own up to everything? Doesn’t Naruto know that Kakashi is…

That’s just it, Kakashi realizes, Naruto doesn’t know that he is Hound. 

He doesn’t know that it was Kakashi, who up until Naruto had entered the Academy at the age of eight, had been spending every available night in between his ANBU mission with him. 

“Hound?” he pretends to ponder as he tilts his head to the side, “Why do you care about him?”

Suddenly, Naruto drops his chin down to rest at his chest, his hands curling up into fists as his whole spine does ramrod straight. 

He mutters something under his breath but it’s unintelligible, even to his heightened sense of hearing. 

“Sorry?” Kakashi asks, as he leans in closer to listen. 

“He used to take care of me.” Naruto mumbles out. 

When Naruto was still only a baby, Kakashi remembers standing guard inside of his nursery. Sometimes, when he would wake up in a crying fit, Kakashi would either have to bottle-feed him milk or rock him back to sleep. Other times, the only thing that would soothe him would be the hushed stories Kakashi would whisper to him about his parents and all their feats. 

Afterwards, when Naruto had begun to totter around, Kakashi remembers having to keep watch from the window. It worked well up until one day, when the boy had flung open his window in the middle of the night, giggling at the sight of a masked man outside of his bedroom. Naruto tugged and tugged at his arm, whining about wanting to play, until Kakashi had no choice but to climb inside. 

The openness of his actions had made him worry because surely Naruto was old enough to understand that letting in a stranger was dangerous but, his worry was outweighed by the sheer amount of trust that was offered up to him when Naruto continued to open up his window for Kakashi.

Unfortunately, all of those nights spent playing with Naruto and his toys came to a screeching halt when the boy turned eight. 

Naruto enrolled into the Academy, and Kakashi never bothered coming back to his window. 

“He was the only person who— he was the only one beside the Sandaime, who used to hold me and play with me and… yeah.” Naruto explains, kicking at the ground, “He never talked, which was weird, but I guess that just made him a better listener.”

It felt like the Earth had stilled beneath Kakashi’s own two feet.

Kakashi was the only one to hold Naruto?

“The only one?”

All Kakashi gets in terms of a response is a shrug of his shoulders. 

“Y’know, when I was little,” Naruto reminisces with a small grin, “He used to bring me toys from wherever he had his missions.”

It was Kakashi’s favourite thing in the whole wide world, seeing little Naruto’s reaction to all of the toys he had brought back for him; a physical reminder that no matter where he went or what he was doing, he was always thinking about Naruto. 

His smile had been Kakashi’s only motivation when it came to staying alive. 

Every night, Naruto would sit by his window sill, waiting in anticipation for Kakashi to come back from a mission. The two of them had even created their own special password and as soon as Naruto would hear that quick three-two-three knocking pattern, he would throw open the window for him. 

A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.

“Hound, he, um, he stopped coming by once I got into the Academy.” Naruto continues.

The phantom smile on Kakashi’s face vanishes as he fights back a flinch at the reminder of his actions.

“At first, I thought he was just caught up in a mission but then days became weeks, which became months, and soon a year went by and I realized that he was never going to come back.”

“Do you miss him?’ Kakashi asks quietly.

“If I’m being honest, I’m pretty pissed at him,” Naruto explains, clenching both his jaw and his fists, “He just left. He didn’t bother explaining why, and eight year old me just had to deal with it, deal with losing one of the only people in the world who cared about him.”

Blinking back tears, Kakashi cannot bear looking at Naruto right now, so he averts his gaze to the ground. 

“I’m sure he had a good reason.” he lies. 

“Yeah, well, no reason is good enough for me,” Naruto spits back, “So, if you can’t tell me who Hound is, can you at least tell him Naruto is still pissed after all these years?”

“I will.”

* * *

It seems as though Naruto has given up on his mission to find out who Hound is because weeks pass by without incident and without Naruto popping up to have any more startling conversations about the past. 

Kakashi is really starting to believe that Naruto has finally learnt the art of letting go, only to be proven extremely wrong when he’s shoved up against a tree. 

Naruto’s arm is pinning his shoulders against the harsh, splinter-y bark of the tree trunk, while his other arm goes to rest beside Kakashi’s head to maintain balance. 

He’d commend Naruto on his improved sneak attack skills, if it weren’t for the fact that his precious, signed copy of  _ Icha Icha Tactics _ is page-first in a pile of dirt. He’s a moment away from yelling some sense into that nonsensical head of Naruto’s when he notices the stream of tears dripping off of his jaw.

“He’s dead, isn’t he?” he asks, his voice cracking, “I’ve been stalking you for two weeks because I desperately wanted to know Hound was, and you haven’t met up with anyone that could be him.”

It’s in that moment that he comes to the overwhelming realization that he needs to come clean; it’s either that or let Naruto experience more pain than necessary, and Kakashi will always do anything in his power to prevent the latter.

But, how do you tell one of the most precious people in your life, that you have deceived them? 

“Naruto…”

“That’s the reason he stopped visiting,” Naruto says, gritting his teeth, “It’s because he was dead and no one thought to tell me and now I have to mourn someone I never really knew all because—”

“It’s me, Naruto,” he blurts out, “I’m Hound.”

For a minute or two, nothing happens as the anguish on Naruto’s face dissipates. He studies Kakashi’s own face, presumably for any signs of deception or lying. 

Then, as if a whirlwind erupts from within him, Naruto grabs Kakashi by the collar, hauling him off the tree and throwing him onto the ground. Before Kakashi can scramble to get up, Naruto climbs over his body and wrenches his fist back behind him.

Within a second, he feels a burst of pressure at his jaw, followed by the unsettling clashing of his teeth in his own mouth. Faintly, he tastes metal and with some poking and prodding, he realizes he’s accidentally bit into his own cheek.

“You jerk!” Naruto cries as he slams his fists down into Kakashi’s chest, “Why didn’t you tell me! Why did you stop coming around! I used to cry myself to sleep because I thought you finally realized I was a demon!”

His punches grow weaker and weaker by the second until soon Naruto is collapsing atop of Kakashi, hiding his face in Kakashi’s neck like he used to when the other kids were being especially cruel that day. 

“Hey, hey, shh,” he murmurs as he strokes the back of Naruto’s head, “ You did nothing wrong, okay?”

“Well, it felt like it.”

Kakashi’s chest caves in on itself. 

Before he can say anything else, an explanation, an apology, anything, the warm weight atop of him is gone. He can only vaguely register Naruto mumbling out a  _ shunshin no jutsu _ .

Soon, all he’s left with is a puff of smoke.

* * *

Days keep adding up until it’s been more than a week without Naruto giving Kakashi the time of day, and for once, it’s not because of the lack of trying on Kakashi’s part. In fact, he’s attempted all sorts of plans to get the man to even look at him. 

He bought enough ramen from Ichiraku’s to last him a lifetime, he tried to entice him with promises of teaching him a new jutsu, he bought him a brand new orange jumpsuit, hell, he even swallowed his pride and tried to enlist Sakura’s help only for her to shake her head while softly telling him this was something he needed to do on his own. 

It’s a complete mess and one he wishes he weren’t so concerned about cleaning up.

And he wouldn’t be, if it weren’t for the simple fact of the matter that Kakashi misses Naruto and he misses his company and his stupid ramen and his stupid orange jumpsuits. 

Sulking as he strolls alongside the bank of the river, Kakashi kicks pebbles into the water while he thinks up various ways to get Naruto to talk to him. 

Konohamaru could maybe help him out but, then again, he’d probably side with his big brother Naruto on the matter at hand. Perhaps, Sai or Gai could help, they seem level headed enough to come up with ideas that could work. Actually, Sai isn’t well versed in emotions and Gai would just say something about the Springtime of Youth. Tenzou, maybe…

While deep in thought on what to do, Kakashi doesn’t notice a person walking in front of him, until he barrels right into them. Before the person can fall into the river, Kakashi catches them by the wrists and drags them in close. 

Looking down, he realizes it's Naruto that he's caught. 

Once he’s made sure that Naruto is safe from losing his balance, Kakashi takes a step backwards. Awkwardly, he shoves both his hands into his pockets as he rocks back and forth on the balls of his feet. 

“Thanks.” Naruto mumbles out, his cheeks burning. 

For longer than he’d like to admit, Kakashi debates with himself on what he should say to the man in front of him. 

“Y’know, you have to talk to me some time.” 

Immediately, Kakashi cringes at the words leaving his mouth. 

“You stopped talking to me for four years and were going to spend the rest of our lives lying about it.” Naruto accuses, the flush on his cheeks now being a result of anger rather than embarrassment.

His heart aches at the underlying pain he can hear in Naruto’s voice. Without thinking twice, Kakashi reaches out for Naruto’s arm. 

“I’m sorry, if you’d let me explain—”

He’s cut off by Naruto knocking his hand away.

“I don’t need to know why you left,” Naruto says as he begins to walk away, “My brain can fill in the blanks.”

“Whatever you think my reasoning was,” Kakashi explains as he follows Naruto, “I promise you, it’s not.”

All of a sudden, Naruto stops in his tracks, only a few short steps away from reaching the dirt path back to the village. He whips around to glare at Kakashi, his eyes lighting up with fury as he raises an accusatory finger in Kakashi’s direction. 

“Did you even want to be my sensei?” Naruto questions as he takes a step towards him, “Or were you disappointed when you realized the kid you ditched years ago was your student now?”

“I wanted to be your sensei.” he says earnestly, but it seems as though Naruto isn’t even listening to him. 

“Why did you bother coming around if you were just going to leave?” Naruto snarks out as he shoves his finger into Kakashi’s chest, “Was it me? Did I drive you off?”

“No, just let me—”

Before he can get another word out, he watches as all of the ire and all of the incendiaries building up inside of Naruto fade away, only to be replaced with a bone-deep sense of weariness that should never be worn on the face of someone so young.

“You want to know something, Kakashi-sensei?” he asks, not looking for a real answer, “For the longest time, I used to wonder if you ever thought about me, if you saw potential in me or if you just saw me as a roadblock for Sasuke and Sakura’s success. I used to wonder if you even liked me.

“Now, I know my answer.”

How could Naruto think that? How could Kakashi let him think that? 

For a second, it looks like Naruto is about to say something else but then he simply turns around and continues walking in the direction of the village. 

Remaining where he is, Kakashi stands still as he stares at Naruto’s back. 

“Minato-sensei and Kushina-san had just died.” he says, the name of his parents causing Naruto to halt, “Rin and Obito had died before that. My parents long before that.”

Twisting his neck to look over his shoulder, Naruto meets Kakashi’s eyes; a puzzled look on his face

“But, you were still alive.” he continues, “Up until you were eight, I could keep you safe. You weren’t a shinobi. You didn’t have to take orders from higher up. You didn’t have to go on suicide missions. You were okay.

“Then, you entered the Academy and suddenly, I couldn’t protect you anymore.” Kakashi croaks out as he scrunches his eyes closed, “I couldn’t face the possibility of losing you so, I left. Like a coward.”

Naruto doesn’t say anything else so Kakashi assumes that he’s already gone and left but then he feels a pair of arms hook around his shoulders and the telltale tickle of Naruto’s hair against the side of his face. 

Letting out a ragged breath, Kakashi returns the embrace, fighting back the onslaught of tears in his eyes. 

“Thank you for taking care of me.” Naruto murmurs into his ear.

“Thank you for not dying.”

**Author's Note:**

> leave a comment or a kudo and come yell at me on tumblr at degrassi-fanatic


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